quotable taunts

by Agent 99



Let's soothe our minds with something sort of fun, shall we?

Jabber IM with old uncle dave 5:46 PM:

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
--Stephen Bishop

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
--Winston Churchill

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
--Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
--Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
--William Faulkner (on Hemingway)

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
--Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy."
--Walter Kerr

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it"
--Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
--Thomas Brackett Reed

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
--Forrest Tucker

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
--Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
--Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
--Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
--Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
--Billy Wilder

Grand Prize to Forrest Tucker -- an actor -- if you ask me!