You Gotta Speak Their Language

by Agent 99
China has very recently seen fit to shoot one of their own weather satellites out of orbit, and the more I think about it, the better I like it. I like it even more because I'm certain it has bunched the undies of our military/industrial complex, and the government officials who serve them. It tickles me to finally find evidence of a language * and Vice-Fuhrer Darth Fudd can understand.

So many times I have been hopping around with fists full of my own hair, exclaiming to the walls about how in the living hell can these pigs not grasp the English language. How can they take perfectly clearly written law and turn it into so much Silly Putty, pronounce upon it in ways that would make the most shameless ambulance chaser blush? They do it over and over and over again, and every time I am horrified that anyone listens, that anyone lets it pass. I become convinced that all our judges and legislators must have relatives being held hostage at Gitmo. I can't figure another explanation for it. I really do fret myself silly about how to overcome this, dreaming up noise machines that can blast their foul articulations back into their filthy criminal minds, back past that into the anti-universe of perversity, where their multifarious evil concepts and acts do U-turns. In fact, all day I have been obsessing on U-turns for all acts of aggression.

Tonight I found out that China spoke.

What a relief.

No matter what kind of hissies they're pitching out there about this, no matter how intensely they may try to vilify China for this, I say it was bodhisattva work. They finally just came out and put it in terms the greedheads understand. Yanked their attention right off their juggernaut of destruction for fun and profit. As of now, * and the gang -- and don't forget the psychopathic Mr. Olmert -- can no longer feel certain of anything they try to do on the world stage.

Oh. Darn.